This time I am writing a pretty controversial issue. Can guys and girls just “be friends”? On the surface, this seems like a pretty easy decision. I hang out with a guy/girl, and I don’t want to go out with him/her, we must be able to just be friends. However, at what point does “friendship” change to “relationship”?

I’m not saying that every time a guy sees a girl or vice versa that there is always instant chemistry. Sometimes the situation is just, “Ha that person is pretty cool. I’d hang out with them again.” They could just hang out, grab a snow cone and talk about class work without any need to show affection toward one another. Would that be considered a date? It’s just the two of them, and they are talking about their personal lives. But it’s innocent, right?

Now they are getting snow cones every weekend, the guy doesn’t even have to ask for her order, he just knows her favorite is White Lightning mixed with Silver Fox. It’s still just the two of them. Most would call that kind of regular outing a date at this point, but what’s the difference? There’s nothing physical about the outing, except for maybe a hug.

A hug is an innocent way to say hello or goodbye, but it could also be used in an intimate to comfort someone. This kind of ambiguous meaning of sometimes harmless, sometimes intimate, interactions has caused some people to view the line between relationships and friendships as murkier than a swamp after a mudslide.

So, I guess the important thing is if this all matters. So what if you don’t know whether the other person likes you or not? The important thing is that y’all enjoy each other’s company. You don’t have to have either a loving relationship or only friends of the same sex. You can, and should, be friendly to everyone, regardless of gender or intimate intentions. Problems can, and do, arise when one half of a friendship thinks that the relationship is in a different place than the other person. Now, this is an easy remedy. You don’t have to swear off guys/girls for fear of that. All you have to do is be clear in your intentions and feelings. Communication is important, not just in romantic relationships, but in platonic ones as well.

Now this means that you don’t hide anything. If you really like a person, tell them. Don’t shout it at them from the rooftops of course. Just be mature and frank in expressing yourself. It won’t cause the world ending problems that your brain creates. What if that person is all like, “Woah. No thank you, I don’t see you like that in any way, and I never will.” Then you two can work it out in a mature way, even if that means ending a close friendship in favor of a mutually beneficial and nice relationship.

Now, if that person goes, “What? No way do I like you! Why would you say that? You are ruining this friendship!” Then that person is an immature person who only wants someone to compliment them whenever they want. That is a poisonous relationship, friendship wise or intimate, and you should find another person that is more mature and beneficial towards your needs.

However, there’s a chance that the person could go, “Really? I’ve felt the same way. Maybe we should try progressing this relationship into something beyond friendship.” That is a very real possibility and best case scenario. Really those are the ways situations like that end up, so why would you not talk about your feelings?

This has been an accidental love advice column by yours truly. Good luck in all of your romantic and platonic endeavors.